Cisgender, but that’s not me.

I came across this new term the other day, and it wasn’t obvious to me, what it was all about. A cisgender person is someone who is happy with the gender they were born with/as. Sadly, I found this after coming across a post on Angels or Transliving International. A girl was talking about a friends partner, who had been the subject of abuse by a transgendered person, who she criticised as being cisphobic.

Abuse in any form, and in any direction is abhorrent to most of us, and from what I have read in other girls blogs, there are lots of support out there from cisgendered persons. At the moment, I can’t get my head round the fact, at all. We get so much help from non transgender/ non gender dysphoric friends,family and partners, that to pick on someone else’s partner is beyond belief.

My son split up from his first serious partner, (I think), and was a bit upset that we didn’t cut our ties with him too. We had built up a bond of our own, and you can’t change your affections just like that. Had we gone off the deep end, it could have looked like we were being homophobic from an outsider, who didn’t know the whole tail. We aren’t homophobic as I’ve said, but that doesn’t mean we’ll like every gay person we meet, (and we haven’t); so perhaps the above subject event was a one off fallout, but as I don’t know what was said by whom, etc. I don’t know that. The tone in which we say things can put a completely different slant on even a simple statement, and no doubt the writer of the post had taken this in to account.

Lets raise our glasses, to all those cisgender, transgender, and any other gender people we know, and be tolerant of, and blessed with, all our differences.

Love and hugs to you all, Anna, xxx

7 Responses to “Cisgender, but that’s not me.”

  1. TinaCortina Says:

    Hi Anna

    I would agree with your last statement and much of the emphasis of your blog…… but do we really need this ‘cisgendered’ term (after all, it does apply to the vast majority and there must be other ways of expressing what you mean) and my god, ‘cisphobic’? even worse!

    Hugs Tina x

  2. Anna Arendt Says:

    Hi Tina,

    I don’t need it myself, but it has a wonderful attribute – it is non-confrontational. I gather that some of us t-girls don’t like the terms Real girls, or Genetic girls or Genuine girls. Those terms imply that we are less then they are, less real or less genuine, but in our own minds we are as real as every other woman. Those girls that feel they are being belittled by such terms now have one that puts us all on equal terms, terminologically speaking.

    So you see, C-girls and C-boys are cool, just as T-girls are.

    I like being gender dysphoric myself; it’s got the weight of scientific opinion behind it – to me anyway. But really, labels are just conversational shorthand, but they become a nuisance in some peoples hands, when they use labels as an argument for this or that, or when giving labels more importance than the the people they refer too.

    I actually worked this out just the other day, and thought how useful it could be for some girls, and I must tell them on the next blog – LoL.

    Hugs, Anna x

    • TinaCortina Says:

      Hi Anna

      I’m sorry but I’m still lost on this one;

      Cis is not a sufficiently common latin prefix for anyone (who isn’t in the know) to recognise what it means. I didn’t know and I did Latin many years ago.

      What other common english words start with cis, whereas trans is quite well known if often misunderstood in the context of gender. Lets face it we can’t even agree ourselves what it means.

      I read one reason that cisgender was ‘invented’ was to give a word for anyone that was happy with the gender
      they were born with, implying that all transgendered girls were unhappy. Well I see TG as a spectrum, I am within that spectrum, but I am not unhappy to have been born male. I actually enjoy both aspects of my personality.

      And cisphobic? Well I’ve never come across it. Are you saying that a transperson can hate non trans people just because they are not trans?

      I’m not saying it doesn’t exist, in that A trans person may hate A non-transperson but I can’t believe they would hate all non trans people in the way that some hate ALL gays, or ALL jews or arabs, or even ALL men.

      If any one ever heard it in speech they are more likely to think you were describing a fear of sis (sis-sies, or sis-ters!).

      I guess I just question the need to have a specific word for either term.

      And Ok if there is a need why pick a term that no-one but a very few people would ever understand?

      Labels – misunderstood by ‘many’ are bad enough……… labels misunderstood by nearly everyone are even worse!

      Hugs Tina xx

      • Anna Arendt Says:

        Hi Tina,

        I don’t actually understand it myself, then nothing new there then – LoL, I only reported on the new term. I had to trawl the net to find out what it’s all about, so as you say; not an obvious term to be coined. My only contribution to the discussion, as I said earlier, and you now confirm, is the non-confrontational nature of the term.

        I suppose it is possible that a person could hate every cisgendered person, but that would make them very unhappy, seeing the numbers involved.

        I hadn’t thought about the need for the new terminology, seeing as it’s popped into existence already. It will probably be like all new things – someone thought it was a good idea, put it out, and then it gets grabbed and used in all sorts of ways the originators never contemplated. It would be interesting to know the etymology behind it.

        Hugs Anna, x

      • Anna Arendt Says:

        Hi Tina,

        I think you are still right, what use is a term no one understands – and I’m wrong, as the word wasn’t coined by someone on the fly.

        I was sitting in bed doing a crossword with Jay, so I browsed the jolly old Oxford dictionary. It appears that cis is a suffix, and it’s meaning is the opposite to ‘trans’ and ‘ultra’. ie. trans-pennine is the other side of the pennines, and cis-pennine is the side where the observer is. It appears it is also used where it pertains to the majority or normal view of something. I stuck in n Jay’s Seiko electronic Oxford dictionary, and hardly any words begin with ‘cis’. I didn’t do a thorough search though, so there’s some homework if any girls fancy it – LoL.

        Hugs Anna x

  3. susanmiller64 Says:

    You bring a good point as we will never like everyone we meet and that is okay as long as the reason we may not like someone is valid and not just because of whom they are or how they live. I have some awesome friends that are transsexual, transgender, gay, bi and anything else you can think of but it is the person that makes us friends not how they live. The best thing we can do is get to know the person for who they are and not what the world categorizes them as. People matter not life styles.

  4. Anna Arendt Says:

    Hi Susan,

    Very nicely put, and so right.

    I was listening to my favourite George Michael cd in my lab at work many years ago – pre Anna days they were. A guy came in and said he was surprised to hear me listening to music by that ****. I told him that I would rather have a gay friend who was nice and loving, than a straight one who beat his wife for example. Why is it a lot of guys never seem to have a nice thing to say about their wives? Is it the same with c-girls I wonder?

    Have fun,
    Anna x

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