Where is the Washing machine?

We were watching tele and caught the end of a who-dun-it. It involved the death of a rugby coach and he was murdered for being a cross-dresser or transgender maybe. The interesting thing was that he under-dressed when out and about in BoB mode. He kept his transgender side completely private, but I guess somehow, something showed – but as we didn’t see the whole thing I don’t know how it had happened. A comment was made that it is common for transgenders to underdress as it is the easiest feminine thing we can do, and usually perfectly unnoticeable. I had a sneaky glance at Jay, but she didn’t seem to put two and two together, and wonder if I do it.

If you have read some of my older posts, then you know I do underdress. Winter is a fab time for underdressing, as thick jumpers hide blouses and teeshirts very nicely, and baggy trousers hide tights and nylons. The big problem occurs when your partner is pathologically against anything feminine getting anywhere near you. Underdressing is easy – washing everything isn’t. Handwashing them is quite effective in the short term, but things need a good turn in the machine every so often.

I can only throw things in the washing machine when there is a very good chance that I can get to it first when it has finished, which means Jay has to be on an errand or busy in the hobbies room. This means I have to have a ‘dirty cupboard’ for clothes waiting for a wash. and also that I don’t wear things for more than a brief period, so they are still actually quite clean.

Isn’t life fun.! I am however blessed with a family that I adore and I would so like to share my real self with them, but as I’ve said before, my love for Jay and the status quo is stronger than my love of self. It’s my choice, and I try to make the best of it, and on the whole, life is good.






Anna in Suspension

Apologies for dropping off the radar, but it’s been a weird year. I read early on after discovering Anna, about purges; people purging their wardrobes trying not to be the girls they were. I decided I’d never do that.
And I haven’t, but the last year has been a virtual purge at the mental level. I guess that accompanies every ones purges, I just hadn’t realised it.
I did have a respite in August 2012. Jay got an awful thing in her legs. They tried antibiotics at home, and put dressings on the massive blisters. It still got worse, and her toes went black, so they put her in hospital, and it took ten days of a mixture of intravenous antibiotics to get it under control. The blisters had nearly got to the top of her thigh. It was awful. When ever I thought about it, for months afterwards, I burst into tears.
None of this stopped me having a really good girly time. I painted my toe nails, and it was so gorgeous seeing them all the time. I also washed all my girl clothes and got them nice again, and slept every night in a nightie. Fantastic. Wore my feminine clothes all the time in the house of course.
And then Jay came home – and the withdrawal feelings made me so sad too.

Medicationally Speaking

I have been a bit out of sorts, and after a message from Calle, it may be the girl hormone things for my prostate. I hadn’t banked on the medication doing things to me like that. It could be just a relapse into my depressive condition of course, which raises it’s ugly head every now and then. I had to stop work the last time one started, eleven years ago now, and that took me all the way to retirement, which was a nice bonus.

Lets talk about fun and interesting stuff. How am I doing other wise? Well, the libido came back after a couple of months or so, and I had mixed feelings (ha ha) about that. Did this mean that my body was getting used to them, and that I wasn’t going to get the side effects I’d hoped for? I got hot flushes early on, and they have gone now too. However, my boobs, albeit small ones, have a nice feel to them, soft and firm and feminine; but the most noticeable thing being my body hair is thinning out. I first notice the other day that my knee hair hasn’t needed waxing for a long time, and still hasn’t got to that disgusting bushiness that I hate so much. The hair on my chest that I pluck, to leave a vee from neck to cleavage, hasn’t needed plucking for ages. A minute ago I just nipped into the bathroom to check the rest of my chest hair, and it is definitely thinner. So I’m pretty well chuffed to monkeys.

I mislaid a pair of my panties the other day, underneath something or other. Well – I moved the something or other, and Jay saw the panties, and went into a sulk, but I’m back underdressing again, but the stress and aggro doesn’t help. I’m still a lot better off than a lot of girls, and I’m not in a life threatening situation like some women, so I can’t complain – too much, LoL.

A Transistor radio in the hand

We were sitting around the dinner table, having had a delicious roast lamb cooked by Jay. We had some GUKs (grown up kids), their partners and my niece-in-law and her partner, and we were reminiscing about our teens. Jay said that she used to visit my mum every evening with her trannie in her hand. Transistor radios were called trannies in the 1950s, the latest invention, and Jay, working as a nanny to our neighbours, (we lived on the country, and our nearest neighbours were a couple of hundred yards away), had used her wages to buy one.

Everyone burst into peals of laughter, and made fun of Jay. Me, I just smiled, thinking that she still has a trannie as we often hold hands and cuddle. I looked across the table and our niece (who is 50 plus and has a figure to die for) was looking straight at me. I’d been throwing in girlie mannerisms, as I try to do anyway, with my long fingernails in view, and I suddenly wondered if she had put two and two together?

I’ll never know most likely. How can we capitalise on these moments? Sadly, never, I guess.

Pictures in WordPress

Apologies for being so ‘off the scene’ for a while. I’ve taken on the job of being a moderator for a group in Bobsville, and I’ve found it to be so much fun. As I’ve gone along, I’m having to learn things about Flickr; formatting text; HTML codes and EXIF data etc. I don’t have to understand them, just to know where they hide and how to use them. This has been a lot of fun, and I’m a photo-holic anyway – if I was pretty, I’d be in front of a camera all the time – LoL. I spend loads of fun time doing things with my own photos, and just looking at every one else’s. Since the day Jay caught me dressed, I’ve toned down the amount of Anna time, and in fact, I’ve gone out of my way too, (as a sort of PR exercise) to make it obvious that I’m not sneaking Anna time. I suppose, as I’m back here chatting, PR is now discontinued, LoL.

We’ve had loads of lovely visitors over the last two months, Sis-in-law stayed for five weeks, that I’ve been posting on the Bob Blog. I have found the picture insertion routine with WordPress very clumsy, and they often end up in the wrong place. I’d uploaded a lot of pics on the Bob Flickr, and I thought they would be ideal, so I was wondering if the HTML code in Flickr would paste into Worpress. It is BRILLIANT. And they all go Exactly where I want them. Medium size pics are a nice size, and don’t need clicking on to enlarge them, but if you do click on a picture, you go to the original in Flickr, so you get extra info and stuff.

Buffy Bear
Buffy Bear, showing how it looks

If you are a whizz with computers and things, then you probably won’t find this information handy, but there may be other girls like me, who will find this easier and nicer.

My next trick was to see if it worked on my parallel blog on Blogger? Blogspot? or what ever, I can never remember the silly name of the site, Anna’s Blogmobile anyway. I know, I don’t really need a back-up anymore, but I so don’t want to dump it. Anyway – my password wouldn’t work. It took a week of requests – questions, answers, refusals to give a password change link, denials that I even existed, when I found an old email with my proper user name, not the log-in name which was my email addres, and hey-presto, link materialised, and in I went. So I’m cooking on both blogs again.

Hint of the week – those emails they send you – the verification ones, Keep them. If I’d kept mine I would have been back in straight away.

As Anna, I’m still under dressing; Jay keeps manoeuvring me so I’m out of her sight as little as possible, (I’m sure I’m not imagining it, but I may be of course); I still think as Anna 100% of the time, and I still have yearnings to be out and up front with everyone. My lovely sis visited for a few days, and I was saying that I’m torn between being Anna with her, which could ruin her and Jay’s relationship if her knowing ever came out, and making her relationship with Jay safe by cutting Anna off from her.

Have fun every one, enjoy being yourselves. Hugs Anna x

iPhone Fun

Well, where did those two months go? As far as doing things as Anna, it has been a steady trickle of the usual; daily make-up, just a bit so it doesn’t attract Jay’s notice; under dressing as ever, the only time I don’t have something feminine on now is when I go to bed – LoL. I’ve been enjoying all your blogs in the mean time, thank you all very much.

Life as Anna disguised as Andy, has been busy and fun – it would just be so much more fun doing them as Anna. But fun is fun, no matter which way we get it. We’ve done loads of geocaching, photography, some walking and gardening – getting all the tubs sorted now for the balcony.

Those of you who use Facebook may have read that I’ve lost my iMac Internet connection; at the moment it is the most expensive photoframe and DVD player you can get. I was so mad with it, – nut let’s not go there. I have got a new covert access to my blog, my iPhone. Writing isn’t as easy as a proper keyboard, but at least it is something, and that’s how I’m doing this. It means Anna is well established on my phone – so that’s another ‘is this brave or stupid’ question, but I’m hoping I can keep Anna’s bits a folder away from direct view.

I was reading Jodie Kidd’s beauty page in You magazine, and they now do eye shadow that you apply with your FINGERs. Obviously the examples were stunning, but it has an element of so much fun. I bet if I try it, it’ll need the skill of an artist – LoL.

What Valentine’s Card?

Valentine’s day fell during the birthday bash, and I didn’t realise that, until we left home. I thought about it, but thought, ‘What the heck, Jay probably hasn’t remembered either’ – wrong – ouch. The boys had got a valentine’s card for each other, Jay had got a valentine’s card for me. Jay had forgotten to write in it, (she thinks the one she wrote in was left behind by mistake). I suggested I could write in hers and give it back, but they all vetoed that idea – LoL.

Nails. Jay and I have a problem with cracking and crumbling nails, and I saw an advert for ‘Hard as Nails’, a varnish that strengthens them. I bought some, and applied it. The advert said shake gently and apply one coat, the bottle said shake well, and apply multiple coats. It was made by Sally Hansen. I’d been wearing the varnish for 24 hours before Jay noticed it, even though I’d told her I was going to try it out.

“It looks like nail varnish”, she accused me.

I guess I applied the coats too close together, as a lot of it fell off very quickly. I then decided to do my toe tails, and applied just one coat, and this before the holiday. Jay didn’t notice a thing. After two weeks, there wasn’t a blemish anywhere, so I’ve given them another coat. You can buy it in clear, as I did, or pink. I broke a thumb nail last week, so I painted the edges of the nail, and it smooths off all those annoying hooky bits that grab at your nylons. I filed the nail first, but filing doesn’t usually get rid of all the imperfections, so I’m pretty pleased with the stuff now.

Acceptance – maybe? it’s really tough when a partner gets all antagonistic over one’s femininity, (or anything else really), and in fact, any confrontation is hard to cope with, and I feel so much for Helen in that respect. But picture this; we are in Lidl’s, and we are looking at ski jumper things. They had blue and lilac, but we had missed the intro date, and so there were very few left. In fact, there was only one in my size, and that was blue.

Jay found them, and was looking through them for my size. She picked up quite a few, but they were the girl versions. I went through them as well, and I remarked, “The only other one’s left that are my size are women’s”.

“If you want them you’ll have to buy them yourself, I’m not buying them for you”, Jay said.

We walked away with the blue one, (they are so comfy, I forgive them for being Bob stuff), and I’m thinking that that is as close to an acceptance speech that I have ever heard. Mind you, I’m not going to push my luck – just yet, LoL.