A Sligo Holiday

OK, here is a new thing, our hols written on Andy’s blog. I hope it’s interesting for you. It’s missing the photos – sorry.

We have toured and explored quite a few counties in Eire, but Sligo has not been one of them, so what better excuse to have, to go there. Jay did the research, and we came up with a cottage, that we managed to get swapped out of, but this one is about the fun stuff.

Hogans got us a sailing on a slow ferry, on the Saturday of 25th, and that got us in to Dublin just before noon. As usual, my satnav1 got us through Dublin and out onto the N4 in well under an hour, which is top notch. I call Jay satnav1, because she sat beside me and did the navigating, not to be confused with satnav2, as that’s electronic, and definitely not to be trusted, but can be very useful for short fiddly bits, like the last few miles of a journey – sometimes!! Satnav3 (that is I) plays with satnav2, and is almost as unreliable too, but is only used when satnav1 is inoperable, i.e. she’s driving.

We had a very nice drive, with a picnic and driver change at Lough Owel. We chose this spot as it had a geocache. I had put 20 plus caches on our geocaching GPS, nicknamed the cachenav, from likely spots that we would be visiting across Eire and Northern Ireland, and likely routes too. I took over the navigating, and missed a turn to one site in a forest/lough combination, but got Jay to Jamestown Quay, on the river Shannon; very pretty; ideal for a coffee break and a cache. Then onto Sligo and Cliffoney and the cottage, but lets forget about THAT one.

We always keep a diary of our holidays, which are hand written by me each day, and then Jay types my bits into the computer at home, adding her own bits as she goes along, so this time the diary got a big inject from Jay on the house. Relax, this will just be a précis of the highlights, not the 25 to 40 page novelette that we usually end up with, complete with 50 to 80 photos in it.

The basic holiday plan, was to go out on the fine days, and ride out the wet ones with games on the Wii. Alie and Gerry’s cottage had a good quality (Phillips) widescreen CRT TV, (it must be good, as we have one ourselves). Games evenings are a big part of our holiday, so a good TV is very nice. Oh yes, the plan. Meg isn’t one for sitting in a car for long periods, and likes to get out and explore places, so she is very good for us, but she can cope with a big trip every so often. The problem with this holiday was that the weather was never bad enough to keep us in; but luckily, there were lots of places to visit, and most of our day trips out were only 60 to 100 miles around.

The beaches and coastlines along Sligo are superb, with huge long lazy rollers coming in from the Atlantic, and lots of sandy bays. We popped into Bundoran regularly throughout the holiday, had a coffee in a carpark overlooking the bay, or an Angelito ice-cream, and watched the surfers riding the rollers. This coast is a surfers paradise, waves 4 to 10 feet high. One American lassie we spoke to, said Sligo beaches were the best kept secret in Eire. There is some amazing geology around and off the coasts of Sligo, and the reefs of rock turn the rollers into spectacular water sprays, and for photo taking addicts like us, they gave us hours of pleasure – and hours at the computer sorting the naff from the fantastic and nearly fantastic. Of course, you need a contrast to make the sandy bays look so peaceful, and curvaceous, and the rocky headlands do a perfect job, adding more picturesque shapes to the scenery, and more chances to take even more pictures.

Mullaghmore Head, with it’s circular road, (not shown on our road map), is on a beautiful peninsular, with multi-headlands, multi viewing points, and plenty of places to just sit, and enjoy the views, the waves, the skies, the sounds – so why are crashing waves so relaxing? We often checked out Mullaghmore Head as we left our cottage in the morning, before heading for an inland lough or Slieve (mountain), and again, on our way back to base at the end of the day. It’s just under two miles from the Head to our cottage base, and one morning, we were watching the waves for so long, we had a coffee-break before continuing on our way.

We are normally mountain types, and we drove into the mountains and around the lakes, of which there are many, but in Sligo and Mayo, although there are pretty inland views, they didn’t draw us away from the beaches for long. Ladies Brae in the Slieve Gamph was pretty, and the Dartry mountains in a line behind the Bundoran to Sligo road had lots of pretty places. Disappointingly, several of the lakes we went to were devoid of viewing places, but we found pretty narrow roads, lovely woods and forests and walks, so no one day was a complete disappointment.

Alie and Gerry were so nice and helpful. I popped round to say thanks for them getting some chair raisers for Jay, and got treated to tea and cakes and chat – Jay thought I’d got lost, and I’d only been away three hours!! They couldn’t have made us more at home, if they’d tried. They only get a small paragraph, but heir impact on the holiday was enormous.

After our two weeks in Sligo, we took Meg home, and stayed with her until the following Thursday. We had time to catch up with the new additions to the family – babies Ava and Riley. Ava, a granddaughter for Meg, is pretty and laid back, and Riley, a great-grandson to Meg, is a gorgeous little bundle of energy. We caught up with most of the family while we were there, and visited some of our favourite places. If you ever go to Northern Ireland, visit Ballintoy harbour; a little old lady runs a cafe there, called Roarks Cabin, and she and her team make delicious cakes and meals. The harbour is very picturesque, but the day we went, the sea was like a mill pond, so you see, there’s a first for everything. Having said that, it was just as nice as having huge crashing waves, which we get a lot there.

This holiday was notable for several reasons, and one of them was… Meg bought a Notebook computer. She has said that she wanted nothing to do with them, but recently she lost one of her camera cards, so she decided to get a notebook on which to store back-ups of all her camera cards. We went into Sligo for some AA batteries, and she came out with a notebook too. We had tuition sessions every evening from then on, and Meg quickly got the hang of copying her photos onto her notebook, and experimenting with editing. She prefers to print her photos from her camera cards, directly in her little standalone Canon Selphy printer, which is a brilliant little no nonsense gadget. Meg can adjust her photos with the printers own routines, so that’s neat. She has printed photos on the Selphy, when connected to the computer, just to prove to herself that it can be done, but she won’t be doing it that way normally. We’ve disabled the wi-fi etc, as it started to get in the way, and she doesn’t need it anyway.

We didn’t manage to get Meg interested in Geocaching, although she came out with us and helped search for the caches, and even found her first cache. She just doesn’t get the point of it all. We found 9 caches in Eire, and six in Northern Ireland, taking our totals past 50. As usual, the cache sites introduced us to some lovely scenic places. I have now taken over my son’s old iPhone, so I don’t have to rely on forward planning and computers to get info on where the cache sites are. Can I cope with all this technology I wonder?

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Some Successes, Some Setbacks

I need another computer, another contact with the outside world, out of sight from Jay. This one is ok, but I have to put my musings onto a memory stick/key thing and transfer it to my laptop – the Dilly Dell thing. I call it Dilly as in Dilly Daydream, cos the Dell people sell you a machine which is supposed to be all singing and dancing – and everything stops working in one form or another as the months pass, until you buy the upgrades. I refused to be cheated in this way, and got my software else-ware.

That’s not what I wanted to chat about. I just wanted a girlie chat. I noticed that some of my fave blogs are going through a slow period, and that made me aware of my own slowdown too. So I’m chatting.

When I first found the Angels site, I saw Joanna’s post – 10 things every Trannie should know about passing, or some such thing. I’d discovered one or two of them myself.

Waxing: now there’s a problem. I started waxing everything when I realised I was actually a girl, and most of them Jay has banned, but she hasn’t banned waxing the backs of my hands and fingers, or the ‘V’ cleavage of my chest. Waxing the backs of your hands was one of those ’10 things’. If I remember where it was, the list of 10 that is if you are not concentrating, I’ll post a link. The NfY, Niece from Yorkshire, told us a story about one of her workmates. He was so hairy, they nicknamed him Gorilla; it appears his hair went down his arms and right to the ends of his fingers. I had a bit of a smirk, me with thick hair down to my watch line, (when I wear a watch, which is rarely), and then nothing! That’s a bit mean though, calling a guy a gorilla, although gorillas are nice friendly creatures. I had waxed legs all last summer, but eventually the aggro got too much and so I stopped. I’ve bought some hair dye to dye them blonde, so they don’t show up – well, it’s not as if they won’t be there is it – but I’ve chickened out doing it so far.

Plucking the eyebrows – ouch. This is a success. Jay was not impressed when I first did it; the big give away being the pale skin uncovered by the plucking. The good news is – the skin tans up after awhile, and so I continued plucking the darn things without any more hissy fits. Jay trims them with scissors when she cuts my hair – she is very talented, and I love her to bits – so I also trim them myself with an electric razor, which keeps the mass down, while plucking helps the shape.

Nails; they are a blooming nuisance – they never stop growing – oh, you’ve noticed too – and they break off just as I’m getting them into a nice shape. Jay whinges if they get too long for her taste – but mostly she is OK. I think she must gradually get used to them, until suddenly – wham – she suddenly notices I’ve got nice medium length rounded – I don’t care for square – nails. The other thing that attracks unwanted attention is when we both go to grab the same biro or something, and I stab her with a nail – “Your nails are too blooming long again!” quickly follows the ‘ouch’. It’s no wonder that girls use stick on nails, but I have yet to try those. Hmm, that could be this months experiment!!!

Well, that was a nice chat, for me anyway. Bye for now, Anna.

Sulks before breakfast.

Jay put a hot wash on the night before, and as I threw in some towels, I put in a pair of panties too. Jay does that, it is meant to spruce them up a bit. Jay always sleeps in later than me, so I didn’t think it would be a problem – wrong!

It’s 10 past 6am the next morning, no Jay in the bed, so I guess she is in the bathroom – I doze off and awake 15 minutes later – still no Jay. I sit up and look out of the window and Jay has hung my panties on the line and is staring at them in a concentrative pose. Hmm .. I’ll play dumb at see what happens. A sulking moody Jay is what happens, as she comes in and asks me if the underwear is mine.

‘Yes’ I say, as nonchalantly as possible.

‘I don’t want your clothes in with mine – do you understand’?

That’s got to be a result – sulks but no fireworks.

Anna Arendt’s Blog

This is the first day of my new blog – relocated from Yahoo360 – sadly gone in to RIP. About life as a disenfranchised T Girl – but no swearing or sex or titillation here – just life as it goes by.

A Letter to my Wife

The best advice for couples with problems is to talk to each other. Jay and I were not discussing the important issues we have, and a friend suggested writing her a letter, to get the dialogue going so to speak. I thought this over for a while, and decided to give it a go.

A Letter to my Wife,

Hi Super Girl,

Do you remember when we used to write such lovely letters to each other? Of course you do, – a silly question. This is a love letter too, because I love you to pieces. I’ve always been proud of you, you are so clever, knowledgeable, and to me, very pretty. I tell everyone how much I love you, how good you are at everything, how artistic, how skilful.

I know you hate my feminine side, but is it such a threat now, after living with it or enduring it for 6 ½ years. I know that was an awful shock, and you wanted promises I couldn’t promise, and answers I couldn’t answer.

I suppose you are hoping I’ll get better, but historically, once people like me have this duel gender identity – that is it – we have to cope with it for the rest of our lives. I want and need you for the rest of my life too. I am so pleased that you still want me with you. I so want to share the rest of our lives together. I know, you don’t want to see my feminine side, but I need time for self expression on that side – and is a bit of cross-dressing – 2 hrs out of a whole week – so bad? I like my feminine side, and yes, if it was possible, I’d prefer to be a woman, have a sex change op and all that, but I couldn’t do that with out someone I love supporting me. I want you more than I want all that. You are wonderful, and so lovely, and so supportive, and I couldn’t live without you.

There are lots of people like us, some make it, and some don’t. Most of us couples who are happy to make do with a cross-dressing partner who doesn’t want or need to go the whole route – make it. Each couple has a different take on what each partner will tolerate – what guide lines and parameters are to make them happy, to give them a workable solution. Some partners go out together while one is en femme: some tolerate and even help, but only in the home; and some tolerate it in the home, but refuse to actually see it; it being their partner en femme / cross-dressing.

I like cross-dressing, I feel beautiful, even if I look a complete prat. I like conversing with other people who cross-dress – I don’t feel so unique, so weird, so pathetic anymore. I’m normal, I’m not unusual, I’m not perverted, I’m still a nice person.

I adore you; it hurts me so much to see you unhappy, to see your tears, to hear the silences. I know you find my feminine side hideous, and your technique has to been to blanket and ban any sign of it, but is that really the best way? You said you don’t know what I’m doing, when I’m upstairs and you are downstairs, but you have imaginings. You said that every time I go out, you wonder what I’ll smuggle back in when I get home. The price of knowing could be peace of mind. I don’t always bring something feminine back, but yes, quite often. Mostly new nylons and wax strips. Life is so mundane sometimes. What do I do during the soaps? I put on a bra, stuff it with rice – if I get hungry I could do a curry – (sorry, couldn’t resist that), a blouse from Matalan, a skirt from the hospice shop or Littlewoods, hold-ups from Aldi, shoes from Littlewoods or the cancer shop, trim my nails and watch a video or the One Show on TV. 40 minutes of this three times a week is the best I get, and sometimes I don’t even get that, Sometimes I’m just not in the mood. It would be nice to be able to say :

“Hi Pet, I’m just off to shower and change”, knowing that if the phone rings, I can answer it and take it to you without having to rip everything off..

It would be nice to say:

“Hi Pet, I’m off for some ink cartridges, and I need some waxing strips, so I’ll gee them at the same time.”

It would be nicer too, if while we are doing the weekly shop-up to say;

“I need some nylons today”, and grab a pair as we go past and toss them in the trolley. I know, you don’t want a hint, a sight, a smell, of anything feminine and me coming together. But there could be a trade off her, peace of mind when I’m out and about, and fixed boundaries too in the home.

Lots of people have secrets, and what goes on in the privacy of our homes should be that. Why does it have to be public – it doesn’t. We don’t have to tell the kids – although I’d be happier if they knew. But that’s normal, or so it appears from what I have seen people say on the net; keeping it private from family and everyone else, that is.

Lots of people find support and solace within like minded, similarly affected people. You said that you don’t want help from anyone, especially if helping means trying to make you accept my feminine side. I’ve got the advantage here, because I’ve found lots of people like me, some worse off, some not so, some having to put up with terrible abuse and pressures. I love you for not putting me under such strain. I love for not throwing me out of the house, for not throwing my clothes out of the house, for not putting my life in the skip.

You asked me one day what I was doing at the computer.

“Chatting”

“What about”

“This and that”

“Oh brilliant”, or something similar.

I am scared of saying too much. Every time we chat, I lose a bit of feminine .. things! For instance, when we were chatting about waxing my legs, you said that seeing them like that scared you. Knowing that makes it very hard to do it any more – and I do like my hairless legs. OK, so every now and then I do a little bit – my knees mostly – I refuse to have hairy knees, but I’ve lost something there have I not.

I see lots of people on the net, or at least I see their musings, problems, advice, but unless I stick in with my own 3 ha’porth worth, they don’t know I exist. It doesn’t stop what they w
rite being helpful. Yes, it would be great to say;

“Ann has had a good night out” or;

“Anna has a good idea today”, or;

“Annie’s had a bad day, poor girl”, and talk over their problems, like we discuss Ann’s across the road, or the people with the dog around the corner.

I want to help you, but I can’t help you by not being feminine. I can try and not be obviously girly, a you asked, by trying to be masculinely mannered when I am with you, although for me that means wearing men’s clothes. I feel I’ve always been nice and gentle. You can decide on that.

I love you and adore you so much. I do want you to be happy, but I want to be happy too.

Your Lover

For Evermore

Aaaaa XXXX

I have cheated on the terminology. I don’t have a duel gender disorder have one gender – I am a girl, it’s my body that is wrong. I used this wording as I thought it would be more acceptable to Jay; as talking about my femininity, as though it was something seperate from me. My femininty is me, it’s Anna, I am Anna, we are one. I haven’t broached the subject of Anna with Jay, as I feel this will ostracise me even more.

I hope this explains something more of who I am.

May you all have sunshine in your lives – Anna

Going from Guy to Gal

I was chatting to a friend via emails and she asked if I had always felt as I do now, and I realised that I hadn’t seen any blogs explaining the fine tuning of their writers changes. The literature about girls like me say that it is common to start the realisation of being a girl in our fourties, but I hadn’t read any thing by girls in my ‘group’, so to speak, explaining how it had been for them. This is how it happened with me.

Growing into Anna? In 1990, at 45, I felt I had a big feminine side to my character, but I was happy with that. Then by 2002 I had started getting these feelings, that I was actually a woman. I didn’t get them all the time, but by then I was getting them every day. It could be in the house, in the shower, in the supermarket, and a wave of feelings would surge through me, and I felt I was a woman; being with other women would seemed to set it off. The girl feelings filled me with euphoria, a sense of happiness and wellbeing. Gradually they came more often and longer, until it was the dominant life force so to speak. If I closed my eyes, my mental image was pure girl, no male bits. I suspected that the more time I spent with the girl feelings, the more they would be normal, and the sense of exhilaration would go. This has happened to a large extent. Then I went through a period where I would get these strong feelings of maleness, but I didn’t enjoy them, and they got fewer and fewer, but I get them occasionally still; although now I have said that, I haven’t had one for a while. I usually got/get them in the car while driving.

Jay asked me how did I know these feelings I got were feminine ones? – I just did.

Interestingly, I have now got a friend who is a post-op woman. She has both male and female feelings, not at the same time of course, and she is quite happy with that. She has always had them, and said that it is just a part of being who she is. Although she was happy with these alternating mental gender imaging, she wasn’t happy with the male body, and needed to have the Sexual Realignment Surgery. I’m so envious of her bravery and determination.

So, that is another bit of Anna’s story.

Entry for 30 January 2009

I started my blog here on Yahoo 360, and it is a very nice system, but there are stories abounding that it is going to be shut down. Don’t ask me why, I don’t care, but I am miffed, because as I just said, I like it there. I’ve just spent an hour cutting and pasting my Yahoo blog into Google, my new one. I’m keeping this going in parrellel for a while, for my regular readers – hi sis.

Things haven’t gone too badly since the phone call hiccouugh, except we had a second phone call hiccough. I sent my friend an email saying I’d ring her at a certain time, made available by Jay being out having a hair cut, or she could ring me. I tried to get through and just got rubbishy error messages, so I sent an email saying I couldn’t get through, and I’d try another time. When I didn’t ring, she checked her emails and found the penultimate one and so she rang me. You can guess what happened, Jay is now home, and we were just going out for a drive, and she answered the phone. Stoney silence from Jay for next few days. We are back to our usual chatty cuddly huggy twosome again now, but I must get a system in place for the phone calls.

Watch this space. Hugs Anna x

see http://annaarendt.blogspot.com/