Coming Clean about 2010.

Hi Every one, Happy new year again.

I know some of you are probably wondering what happened in the weight department, since I copied Helen last January, and telling you gorgeous girls I was going to lose some weight. I use the Wii Keep Fit plus to ensure I keep an eye on things, and for some fun exercising stuff. Mid year saw me drop out of the overweight band, but it was a – ‘is she, isn’t she’ thing – and I promised myself I wouldn’t brag about it, until I stayed out of the darn thing for a whole week. Hmmm, and no, you didn’t miss the earth-shattering event. And then we went on trips, and holidays, and it went back up. However, I ended the year half a stone lighter than I started, so I want to repeat that this year. The sad news is that I put 6 lbs. on over xmas and the new year – how silly is that; I could have been nearly a stone lighter with a bit more common sense in the nibble department – LoL.

Eyebrows! You remember we got the tip about using a comb and a razor to keep them trimmed? Tina commented that she users an electric trimmer. Well – I got one for Xmas, and before I went to bed Xmas day, I was in my bathroom trying it out. Brilliant little gadget, and works so well with the comb technique on the eyebrows.

Underdressing. For you girls who are out and about, or who get plenty of en femme time at home, underdressing isn’t probably a necessity. To me, with so little en femme time, it’s a way of feminising my time as much as possible while I’m in the closet. It isn’t a fetish thing that turns me on – it’s a way of feeling comfortable within my persona; a way of keeping as much girliness in my life as possible. And a bit of, one-up-womanship, over Mrs A, which is a bit naughty, and bitchy perhaps, but it helps me believe in a future of sorts, no matter how unattainable or believable. Does that make sense, believing in the unbelievable?

I so adore my bathroom. I get up to all my girlie things here. I like to begin my day here, getting dressed, putting on some eyeshadow, using girl creams, doing those eyebrows etc. In the evening I check out nails and stuff, and pluck and pamper myself, night creams and whatever. I shower and get ready for bed, and get things ready for the next day, clean tights at the ready etc. At this time of the year, wearing jumpers means that I can wear feminine t-shirts un-discovered. I adore the winter.

The problem with getting away with being girlie is that there is a sadness there too – I would so like to be a girl with Jay’s blessing. I’d so like like not to be a liar.

Happy new Year, Hugs Anna x

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Xmas Gossip

So much for Anna taking a subservient role over Xmas. OK, no cross-dressing time, but under-dressing, a bit of eye make-up, and would you believe, one evening with lipstick on. I just carried on as normal, having given the nails a trim (well, they were a bit long, even for Anna- LoL), and a file, and the eyebrows a trim and a small amount of plucking. Our two eldest came home on the Wednesday, and our youngest, who was working in Bristol on the Friday, got home at half eight on Xmas day’

We had done the presents, and had dinner, pulled the crackers and read the jokes. In my cracker was a little case with a narrow mirror on the inside of the lid, and I was told it was a Lipstick case.
‘You’ll have to swap it for something else’, someone said.
‘Not likely’, I thought. So, just before tea, I was in my bathroom trying it out, and yes, the narrow mirror is good enough to see your mouth. So I gave it the test, and put my lipstick on, using it’s little mirror. You may remember my lipstick colour is almost a perfect match for my natural lip colour, so it doesn’t show up very much. As we were using the Xmas lights for our main illumination, everywhere was dimmish, so I risked going down with my lipstick on, and no one noticed a thing. Just so cool. I didn’t push my luck to far, but I had it on for an hour or so. What with late nights and later mornings, I was able to load and empty the washing machine, so my girl stuff got a hassle free wash too..

We had a super Xmas. Lots of little presents this year, as no one has spare money, but some choice gifts there – Series 2 of ‘Doll House’, a CD or two, some British wine, a gadget for the iPhone, and lots of little goodies. We played loads of games; Mah Jong,; Wii Golf; Wii Party, (a pressie that is so much fun, and hilarious – or should I say our performances were hilarious – LoL), plus a Round Britain Quiz, which showed up some serious gaps in our knowledge.

The best bit though, was the kids getting home safely, so now we can look forward to the new year.

Have a safe and Happy new year every one, Anna x

Shampoo and Strictly Make-up

I must tell you – I’ve discovered shampoo. I know, it’s been in the shops and on the tele for more years than I care to think about, but I thought it was all hype, so I used whatever shower gel I had to hand. The other day my daughter used my shower, (it doubles as the guest shower you see) and she left some Pantene Pro-V extra body shampoo and conditioner – I tried it, and it is GORGEOUS. My hair feels so silky and soft, and it lasts for a couple of days. No wonder girls are always doing their hair. Needless to say, I bought myself a bottle the next day. Jay wasn’t impressed – she normally gets her shampoo from Wilkinsons, who sell all the named brands at the best prices. We only go there when Jay wants to replenish her girlie stuff or get Xmas presents, and I wasn’t going to wait for THAT – LoL.

I’ve started using brown eyeliner today, just a bit, but I wore it around the house – not sure whether this is brave or stupid – time will tell. I have yet to get some brown mascara, as Demi suggested – (I was in Tesco’s, and Jay was busy at the cake counter, so I grabbed the eyeliner, and nipped through a check-out. I got my eyeliner and mascara confused – LoL.

I adore ‘Strictly Dancing’ – the American version is called ‘Dancing with the Stars’ I believe. All those gorgeous dresses and make-up, I’m in heaven. It’s one thing I can share with Jay, as she likes to cast a critical eye over everyone’s turnout, and so we can actually hold a discussion. She’s very uncomplimentary at times, and we have a different range of tastes – I like almost every thing she likes, and everything she doesn’t like – LoL.

I do wonder about the professionals sometimes, as they seem to choose most inappropriate stuff (dresses and make-up) for some people. If you like ‘Dancing on Ice’, just think what a mess of the clothing they made for the swimmer, Sharon – they made her look so gangly, it was as if they had something against her looking nice. On this series of ‘Strictly Dancing’, Michelle Williams looked lovely during the week, in rehearsals and interviews, but the make-up they put on her for the Saturday shows made her look very bony and hard faced – not like her usual glamorous self at all.

You may not want to take my word for it – from the most inexpert of make-up appliers that you are every likely to meet – but take a peek and check it out. Does that count as more homework? LoL.

Wigs by Post – or How I had a Cunning Plan

If you need cheering up, I hope this gives you a chuckle, I’m still smiling, 2 weeks later.

Those of you whom are regular readers, will recall from the comments department, that Tina offered to sell me one or two of her wigs. Noeleena sent me details of a good wig site, but as my en femme time is all closet, and very short in the time department, I didn’t want to spend a lot, so Tina’s offer had my vote.

Tina sent me some pics of the two wigs, and I rather fancied the blond one with dark highlights, (lowlights?), (streaks?). Now, here is the clever bit – no sniggering yet please – because I had a cunning plan!! Jay being about as anti-Anna as you can get, I needed to be sneaky, so I asked Tina to send me the wig, so that it would arrive while we were on holiday in Scotland. I’m always the first into the house when we get home, so I could scoop it up, with the rest of the mail, a yard high behind the door.

This year the camp wi-fi was on zero bar, occasionally going into one. I kept trying the laptop in various locations around the cottage, and in the second week got a few connections, two I had to duck out of quickly when Jay came into the open-plan lounge-kitchen, and once I actually got Tina on that Yahoo chat thing that pops up when you are checking your mail; well, we’d hardly swapped a couple of sentences and the link crashed out.

I needed an internet connection because my lovely sister-in-law (MLSiL), had flown to Prestwick with Ryan Air, (never again she said), and you have to book in by internet. So it’s day 3 or 4 of the two week holiday, and I drive to the restaurant, (they have wi-fi there, even though it’s closed for modernisation), complete with laptop and MLSiL. We get an instant connect, but hit a problem when it says ‘Press the print button to print out your boarding pass’. Nice one Ryan. Just then a couple of workers come out of the restaurant, and had a bit of a chuckle about us using their wi-fi. They pointed us in the direction of the Fort William library, who do internet stuff.

The Library staff were super, and we soon had a log-in, (free), and quickly had the printout, (20p). MLSiL goes off looking for slippers and I check Anna’s mail. There is one from Tina,, and she said “The wig is in an anonymous looking jiffy bag. It went through my letterbox at a push, so if it doesn’t go through yours, they’ll leave a note and you can collect it from the sorting office”. I’m mulling this over and I spot an email with Tina’s latest blog. I’m just reading this “Just a Tranny at heart” story when MLSiL is standing behind me saying that she couldn’t find any slippers. I hastily log out of it and off we go.

I spend the rest of the holiday mulling over the wig affair; unfortunately, our postie doesn’t do tickets; ours does the – leave it next door thing. I thought I needed a contingency plan, like where is the best lawyer, how do I split the car and the new digital TV, could I stay in the house and have the upper floor – no just kidding – but a little spanner was about to hit the works. On day 8 my right ankle swelled up, followed three days later by my left ankle, and they ballooned and made walking almost impossible. The A&E didn’t know what was happening, but gave me some Voltarol and told me to keep my legs up.

The rest of the holiday still went OK, Jay doing all the driving, and me on the back seat. On the drive home, I managed a couple of stints driving, and then I had a cunning plan. I delegated unloading the car to Jay, suggesting she piled everything on to the top step at the front door, and I’d heave them in from there. This got me into the house first, where I retrieved the jiffy bag and hid it. Later, with the luggage all indoors, Jay went off to the supermarket for some groceries, and I was up the stairs, quicker than a snail, to try the wigs on – yes, the lovely Tina had sent them both. I look my most feminine yet > pics to follow.

Tina bless her, let me set the price, and asked me to donate the monies to charity, rather than give it to her. Her charity was the breast cancer charity that Astrid is supporting in her moon walk. It’s my favourite charity too, so it’s kind of apt I think.

So, I have some homework for you girls – please visit Astrids site and if you feel empathy with her, help her on her way to her target. Thank you. No apologies for pushy though – LoL.

Split Personalities and Time Sharing

I’ve seen it written before, that all though we T-girls talk of our time as Bob, or time as Anna, in my case, as though they were separate entities, in reality, they aren’t separate – it’s the time spent en femme or en Bob that’s separate. It does make it easy though for us to explain what is going on in our lives. And what has been going on in my life? – Flikr – that’s what. I only added our holiday snaps onto the Bob account so that family and friends could see what we’ve been up to, and marvel at our superb photos – or not. In truth, I don’t believe I’m a great photographer, but I can take great photos at times. Some of my better photos have attracted attention, and of course, I’ve discovered ‘favourites’. Hopping through peoples favourites opens up a wealth of gorgeous photos, and I’ve now got several contacts whose photos I enjoy viewing. My contacts are virtually all woman photographers, and some have only recently started doing photography, but they take lovely photos. I now check out my account every day to see if they have added new pics.

The problem is, I have been neglecting your blogs. That’s a lie, I’m up to-date with your blogs, but I haven’t had time to blog hop around your friends blogs, and their friends blogs and – you get the picture. Worse than that – I haven’t written my own blog – so you’ve noticed eh? I’ve had a part written one in the word processor for days!

So what has Anna been up to? Make-up, again. Late yesterday afternoon I put the mascara on – yes, the bright blue one, and my only one to date. In the low level lighting we use, it passed un-noticed, although it looked blatantly obvious when I put it on. I think people only see what they expect to see sometimes. I put the eye shadow on above my eyes now, just a little, but in view. The eye socket overhang keeps that bit shaded, so that’s a help – probably that’s a cheat too, but what the heck!

The thing with my time  sharing, is that doing girlie things has to be spread out. I put the full eye shadow on, plus a load of mascara the other night, and when I was finished and satisfied, it was into the shower, and off it came. If I’m doing make-up, plucking eyebrows or waxing for example, then I can’t also get dressed en femme. I’m not complaining, it’s just one of those things. Talking about eyebrows, hairs are now growing from previously harvested areas. What is interesting, is that they highlight how much I have raised the bottom limits – nearly a centimetre. Just as well it’s the centimetre under the overhang, and only becomes obvious when I raise my eyebrows in amazement.

I had a lovely Xmas by the way, with a few sad periods where I would have loved to have shouted – Hey kids, I’m really a girl.  To be fair, that didn’t ruin Xmas as we had lots of fun. I like to use my feminine side as much as possible, but no one seemed to notice when I did. You know the kind of thing, lounging girlie style, saying things with a girly lilt, under dressing, the eye shadow of course – but being en Bob can cover a multitude of delights.

There is possibly another reason no one notices – but I’m not going there – LoL.

Hugs and best wishes to you all, Anna x

More make-up tips ? or not!!!

This posting was going to be, “Anna and the easy way to do Make-up”. OK, not quite easy make-up, but easy eye-shadow. It had been going so well, the eye shadow, until I tried using two colours together. To be fair, it did look good the first time, ooohhh, but the second time, it looked awful. What about eye-liner you may ask – it looked like some one had borrowed a black line off a zebra crossing – it was even more aaawful. And the mascara stuff, it went on fairly well, …… but, it was bright blue. OK, ok, there was a tiny label saying – electric blue – but as it had a bar code on it too, I thought it was just the pricing label. All the Rimmel stuff seems to be in black bottle things; no colour coding at all.

Oh my goodness, but it was, well is, fun. I’m hooked on make-up. So I guess the time will come eventually, when I’ll be going for the, (fanfare), makeover. If I had had another girl with me to share the fun, it would have been even more hilarious.

I hadn’t realised that I would need to be an artist to get the best out of my make-up. I have found that Nivea body moisturiser makes a good foundation cream. The eye shadow is bolder and darker when I’ve moisturised my face first. It’s handy too, for keeping eyebrows neat and tidy, and if your hold-ups have lost there tackiness before you’ve laddered them, then a dab or two or three around the thigh before you put them on, keeps them in place quite nicely. Probably not worth trusting for an evening out on the town, (village – LoL), without doing a wear test, but it was ok at home. You’ll want to wear your best ones when you go out, anyway.

Yes, I know, genetic girls (gg’s) wouldn’t wear hold-ups under their jeans at home, but sometimes I just need the cosiness of having something feminine on. And on that note, I wish every one a merry Xmas, and may your desires come true in 2010. May your god or guiding spirit, go with you. Hugs, Anna.

Hysteresis, and some cross-dressing – at last!

There was a very interesting program on the Open University umpteen years ago, and it used a 3D graph that explained how people react to events. Why is it interesting? Because it explained why, when you upset your partner big time, the explosion doesn’t come until sometime later, but when it does, you actually have to improve a huge amount, (be amazingly contrite etc), before they flip back to cheerfulness. Flipping describes it just right too. There is something similar in science and maths called hysteresis, where the effects of an action, trail behind that action. So, calling your partner a silly moo today, may bring a big problem tomorrow.

It’s hysteresis that has proved my undoing. Over several years, I was gradually cultivating my feminine traits, and I thought I was doing very well, especially as I hadn’t had any adverse feedback from Jay. By this, I mean I was doing it full time. Then one day, she noticed that Bob wasn’t that Bobish, I guess – and kaboom. Retracting some of the femininity did no good; I had to go almost all the way back to Bobsville. The kaboom happened after a visit from my lovely sister-in-law, so she may have awoken Jay to all those small changes I had made. I adore them both, so I can’t blame them, can I? I haven’t a plan yet of where to go from here though, but I’m not giving up my cross dressing time, and my yearning to explore and show off my femininity.

Talking of cross dressing, did I mention that I have been practicing wearing my wig? and that I caught an image of myself in the mirror – and that I looked like my daughter. She’s lovely, and quite pretty, so that’s no bad thing. The other night, I had my first big dress up since the broken wrist saga – I have been a bit reluctant to do any cross dressing really, but I didn’t let that worry me. First I had another wow! moment. I put the eye shadow on – properly this time, both shades, right up to the eyebrows. The brown was neat, but when you add the other, light colour, it all changes and looks – glorious. Then the other night, I decided to do eye shadow, wig, nylons, bra and everything. I was dressed in my favourite long skirt and blouse, sashaying about the room in my high heels, watching my image in the mirror, when I just smiled at the whole thing – and my features changed, and I just looked so utterly feminine, it was gorgeous. If I can capture that on camera, Ill plaster it all over my sites. So watch this space.

Wigs – a girl was asking on Angels, ‘How do other CDs cope with the head temperature, when they wear a wig all day?’ I’d like to know too – LoL. I couldn’t wear my current, cheap and horrible, wig outside though, as I think it’s a bit too big and loose. Noeleena gave me a site that does nice wigs, and sooner or later I will have to get something decent, and that means expensive – well, to me it does – LoL.

 

Hugs to every one, Anna